Race For Life

Published on by Violetsteel Category: Journal

You may remember I lost my cousin, Angela, to Cancer in 2008. Well this year I’m taking part in Race for Life which is a 5 miles sponsored run/walk to raise money for Cancer Research UK. I’m doing it with 3 of my cousins and an aunt – my cousin, Becky and her Mum and Ange’s Sisters Janine & Lorraine.

I will be so grateful if you could sponsor me! Every pound or dollar really makes a difference for this very worthwhile cause, as most of us at some point in our lives will be affected by cancer.

If you can give anything at all, please nip by my sponsorship page and make an online donation. I’d be SO thankful.

http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/ginasas?

Race For Life - For Ange.
3 Sister, my Cousins - Angela, Lorraine & Janine (l-r)

I want a Mac.

Published on by Violetsteel Category: Tech

I’m at home reclining on the couch with my iPad on my lap and thinking about various things geeky.

I think I’ve made the decision to make my next computer a Mac. There are many reasons for this but the main one being that their products are so beautiful and work so well. It will be quite a while into the future before I actually need to make a final decision as I’m trying to get my finances in order at the moment, and a new computer is certainly not in my budget for the foreseeable future, especially not a pricey Macbook Pro. But I think I’m finally ready to say goodbye to Windows. I’ve never been a fan of Microsoft products and have always likes Apple, but I’ve always held onto the security blanket which is my Windows PC. I’ve accumulated a shit-tonne of software for windows and little customising and tweaking apps which have always made my windows experience more to my taste, now I think I’m ready to let it all go and have something that is beautiful and stable out of the box. Call me a Fangirl or whatever you want, I don’t have to justify my decision to anyway, if you don’t like Apple or Mac, fine, don’t buy it. But actually, I do.

Work Stress, energy & budgeting

Published on by Violetsteel Category: Health, Journal

I’m really glad it’s friday. On a friday morning I wake up already feeling happier just knowing the weekend is a few hours away.

It’s been a stressful week at work. Aside from my horrible day on Wednesday, almost everyone on the company has had their work cut to 4 days a week, thus loosing 20% of their income. I have been one of the very few lucky ones not put on short time, but it might only be temporary. But I am definitely grateful. However I do feel guilty that all my colleagues are in a bad situation and currently I am not. I can only hope they don’t hold it against me and work picks up very soon.

I was feeling very run down last night and relaxed and dosed on the couch all evening. Probably related to the stressful week and also my diet. Im trying very hard to restrict my calorie intake, so I’m probably not getting the best varied diet that I should be. But I’m desperate to slim down so I’ll keep at it. I’m taking vitamins and Acai though so hopefully that’ll give me a boost.

I’m working on a very tight budget at the moment as I’ve let Pete take over my finances so I can pay of my debts quicker. I was starting to get very stressed about my finances as I’m not a good money manager, and finally realised I needed Pete’s help.

Turning 30, Sandra, Race for Life, Twilight: Eclipse

Published on by Violetsteel Category: Journal

firstly… Cheezburger love: Hello little bionic kitty! And what I think is a pretty smart parrot.

I’m turning 30 next month. I may or may not be having a party. Pete and Becky want to organise one but I’ve told them I don’t want to be involved in the arrangement. I always feel there is a lot of pressure to have a good time on your birthday, so I always try to approach it that “what will be, will be”. It’s just another day, if it turns out great, wonderful, but I’m not going to try force it. But with it being a milestone, I would obviously like to do something special. I know Pete has plans to take me away on holiday somewhere, which I’m most excited about. It might be Ireland as we’ve previously discussed going there, but I’m not 100% sure. I’m excited for it all though. I don’t like the idea of leaving my 20s, but at the same time I’ve never felt more confident or happy with who I am so it’s not all bad.

My Aunty Sandra is still really ill. She seems to be doing better than initially antisipated. It’s a tough existance for her though, and she needs a lot or care. We take every day as it comes.

I saw Twilight: Eclipse last Saturday. It was brilliant. It was nicely true to the book and I welled up twice. I LOVED New Moon, but I love this one more. The acting was better, more emotional, and the love between Edward and Bella seemed more truely reflected as in the book at last. This time you really know and understand how much they love each other. There were also some incredible kissing scenes. Hot! Seiing it again on Sunday.

I’m taking part in Race for Life on 20th July with Becky, Jane and Janine to raise funds for Cancer Research UK. We are doing it in Memory of my cousin Ange who passed in 2008, but now with her Mum, My Aunty Sandra, also battling cancer it’s all the more personal to us. I’d really appreciate any sponsorship you could offer. Check it out: Sponsor me!

I am not I

Published on by Violetsteel Category: Fun

I am not I.
I am this one
walking beside me whom I do not see,
whom at times I manage to visit,
and whom at other times I forget;
the one who remains silent while I talk,
the one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,
the one who takes a walk when I am indoors,
the one who will remain standing when I die.

– Juan Ramon Jimenez

Cancer is a bastard

Published on by Violetsteel Category: Journal

Life has turned upside down once again. My Aunty Sandra has been very ill for quite some time now and the doctors have done numerous tests on her trying to find out what’s wrong. After being cleared for cancer a month ago, on Wednesday 2nd last week she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It’s already too severe to treat, being in her bones, lungs & lymph nodes.

On Wednesday my brother had commented on facebook regarding getting bad news about family in the UK so I instantly got worried and messaged him. She said Aunty Sandra was in hospital and Uncle Kevin (One of Sandra & My Mum’s brothers) could tell me more. I phone him up and he told me she has cancer and it really wasn’t good. I realised how bad when he told me there weren’t going to be treating her, just making her comfortable. I cried and phoned my Mum straight away. Kevin had already called her so I knew already that she was aware of what was happening. I blubbed on the phone to her and we chatted about the possibility of her coming over right away to see Sandra, and she said she’d price up tickets. Apparenly Aunty Sadra didn’t know at this point how bad it was as when the doctors came to talk to her in hospital she told them to talk to her daughters Janine & Lorraine because she didn’t want to know. She’d figured out it was cancer already. I then phoned Janine and she was very upset and could hardly talk, so I didn’t talk for long. She told me her and Loz were going with a consultant to tell Sandra about it together the next day. I said I’d visit her on Friday night then. Friday Becky and I arranged to go see her in hospital together. She was in a lot of pain but got us to take her outside in the wheelchair for a cigarette. “Too late now anyway!” she says. Ha! After visiting her I felt somewhat better as before hand I didn’t quite know what to expect, because the first time I visited Ange when she was really ill it came as a huge shock. So I’d been preparing myself for the worst. Friday night Becky came around to ours and I got drunk. It was good.

Saturday my Mum emailed to say she’d be here on Monday, so I called my boss and booked the day off. Saturday night Becky said a lot of the family was around their house after being at the hospital, so I went around there and we all got pissed. I cycled home drunk. LOL.

Sunday was spent cleaning the flat and getting the spare room ready for my Mum’s arrival (had to replace the sodding toilet seat as it broke when I was cleaning the loo!), then visited Aunty Sandra again in hospital. She was scheduled to be released the next day to go home if they had her medication right. Her pain was being better managed but she seemed really nervous about it and kept asking the nurses when her next dose was. She was getting a bit confused and loosing bits of conversations though which was a bit upsetting, but I asked Jane about it and she said it was due to the morphine and not the cancer.

On Monday Pete, Becky & I went to pick up my Mum from Birmingham International Airport. Took her home to bath and have a cuppa then went straight over to the hospital as Sandra hadn’t yet been released. They hadn’t quite got her medication levels right so would only be allowed out on Tuesday. My Aunty Gladys and cousin Jamie with his GF Lou had also come down from Scotland that day and the arrived at the hospital soon after us. Afterwards we all went back to Aunty Sandra’s house to relax and catch up. My Mum spent the night there with Aunty Gladys and Veronica.

Tuesday Pete and I were both back at work. Mum spend the days at Sandra’s as she was being discharged from hospital. I asked for a few days off to spend time with my Mum for the short time she was here, but I was denied the full 3 days I asked for which nearly made my cry at my desk. I’m still seething about that today. After work Pete dropped me off at Aunty Sandra’s before going to nin-jutsu. I spent the evening with Mum, Janine, Lorraine, Andy & the Boys Becky, Kev & Jane, Gladys, Veronica, Jamie, Lou and Tracey, listening to them tell stories about their youth and Nan & Grandad. It was great. Had a nice cuddle with Aunty Sandra before we went home too, telling her how much I love her. The Katharine House Hospice have supplied her with a hospital bed and other equipment so she has oxygen and is all well set up at her home in the lounge, which has been turned into a makeshift bedroom; just like they did when Ange was sick.

At work again today, still in a foul mood and tired. But looking forward to getting home this evening and relaxing with everyone again. I believe we are going around to Kevin and Jane’s for supper and Becky is cooking for us. 😀

iPad

Published on by Violetsteel Category: Journal, Tech

Yes, Pete and I gave into our desires of geekery and indulged ourselves in the coolness that is the iPad.

I already knew I wanted one but alas my budget would not stretch to allow me to get one. This morning I joking hinted to Pete that he could buy me one and his vague response that didn’t include a “no” made me realise this was a possibility. We discussed it and agreed I’d pay him back or it part of the cost could be considered part of my 30th birthday present. So off we went to PC World in Stoke to have a look. As soon as Pete had one in his hand he knew he wanted one too. So a little while later we walked out with 2 16Gb Wi-Fi iPads.

I really love using this device. Typing this blog entry on it is a dream, so much nicer and easier than both my iPhone and my laptop, as I sit here very comfortable on the couch with my feet up and not overworking my thumbs. The screen is lovely and the styling in the usual slick Apple style. It’s very quick and responsive to every touch and tilt of the screen, and browsing the Internet is the most fantastic experience. I’m very very happy with it. 🙂